I have to be honest today.....I almost backed out of my sleep study :( I just didn't want to go! It wasn't like I was scared or afraid of the actual sleep study, I just DID NOT WANT TO GO DO IT! Do ya'll ever get that way about anything! I was just over it and didn't want to go. I really struggled with it. I got home from yesterday from work at about 4:30 and ate about 1/2 a bag of assorted left over Disney candy, some Cheetos, and some gummy bears, because I felt sorry for myself, you know since I was about to leave to be TORTURED and all ;) It was really hard for me to leave. Once I did leave I thought about turning around several times. The place I had to get my sleep study done at is about 1 1/2 hours from my house......so once I made it to the big ol city of Birmingham I knew I was in for the long haul since I had already driven that far! I made it there even though I was acting like a big baby all the way there. My Aunt called me on my way there. She really is encouraging to me! She had the gastric done almost 2 years ago by the same Dr. I am using. She has really inspired me on this journey. She talked me down of the ledge yesterday! The reason I wanted to not go to my sleep study was because I was also considering just not having the surgery done at all. CRAZY I know! I was on this super high coming back from Disney and the last couple blogs I wrote! I kept on looking at pictures and saying....."Ah, you really don't look that bad this big, everyone still loves you and you are so fun to be around! You are still gorgeous! You love yourself and that's all that matters!" CRAZY thoughts I know! After talking to her and my husband I have once again realized for the 100th time this surgery is a HAVE TO surgery at a HAVE TO time! I can't wait any longer. If I was going to do something about my weight I would have done it the last 6 months I have been waiting for surgery! Sure I don't have ANY health problems right now but what if I am still this weight or even BIGGER when I am 40?????? How will my health be then????
SO I put on a pair of my BIG GIRL PANTIES......
And that is exactly what I did. I will not lie. I had a horrible night! I got there at 8:00 pm just like they said. They gave me about 15 mins of alone time and then started hooking me up to like a million things. No joke I had like 7 things attached to my head, a nose piece, 3 things attached to my chin / mouth, 1 attached to my neck, both of my legs had 2 things each attached to them, several on my chest and ribs, a belt around my abdomen, a belt around my chest........it was just TOO much! It took like over 45 mins to get everything hooked up! Once she was done it was time for lights out, cell phone off, tv off, bed time! At like 10:00! I never go to bed till like 11:30!!! I had a really hard time falling asleep! I had to lie only on my BACK :( I am a total stomach / side sleeper!!!!! About 10:45 she asked me if I wanted any Ambien.....I said YES!!! I had never taken anything like that before but I was miserable not being able to sleep! Guess what at like 11:45 I was still WIDE AWAKE :) What is up with that? I though Ambien was suppose to like be MAGIC or something :( The nurse told me I was moving my legs to much and want to know if I wanted a sedative??? I asked her if it would help me sleep and she said yes, so I said SURE!!!! The last time I looked at the clock it was about 12:00 I probably fell asleep shortly after that! They woke me up at 5:00!!!!!!!!! They had to unhook everything!! At about 8:15 the Dr. came in the room and said.......I do not have sleep apnea!!! Yay praise God!!! So he said I was all cleared from him for surgery! PERFECT! Just what I wanted to hear! Bad news is I had to leave the sleep study place in Birmingham and drive back to Jasper and come straight into work!
I look like a WRECK!!!! ;)
But I DID IT!!!!
I am proud of myself!!!!!
Here is a picture of me right before they finished putting more attachments to my face!! Yes there was more!!!!!
Here is what I looked like right before I walked into work :)
I think I might leave a little early today and go take a nap in MY bed!!!!!!
Did you wear your BIG GIRL PANTIES today?????
;)
I think I might leave a little early today and go take a nap in MY bed!!!!!!
10 comments:
Great stuff, and I wish you all the luck and love in the world. Take a minute and come visit my little corner of crazy land. Start at the beginning, and think about it a little.
http://almostgastricbypass.blogspot.com/
Whatever you do, everyone is here to help !!!
Glad you don't have sleep apnea! One more thing to cross off your list.
I didn't have to have a sleep study done (thank God), but many do. I wouldn't have liked it much either. Glad it all worked out in the end (minus a few hours of sleep.):)
I almost backed out of my surgery the day before. I was getting cocky with the liquid diet and losing weight. I kept asking myself what did I need surgery for when I was doing it all myself. The nurse at the bariatric center talked me off the ledge and I'm so glad she did.
More steps in the journey...you are on your way! :)
Mary, I know you know you need this surgery, but I just wanted to tell you that the weight you can carry when you are young devestates you as you grow older. My mom is 58 and weighs about 280 (what I weighed when I was banded). She has tons of trouble with mobility due to joint issues, knee and foot pain. She sweats profusely and breathes heavily when she climbs stairs or walks around the block. She also has diabetes. Although I was very healthy when I was banded, I know that that would have been my future too if I didn't do something. I am so GLAD I did it and I know you will be too. The funny thing is that I wasn't 100% sold on the idea of WLS until a couple of months AFTER I had the surgery. I am 5 months out now and have lost 66.2 lbs. My goal is 100 lbs. down which means that I am just over 30 lbs. from goal. This amazes me whenever I think about it. I can lose 30 lbs. EASY!
I am very proud of you for facing your fear of the sleep study. You did it! And you can do this too!
Wooohoo! Happy to hear no APNEA baby!
You are on the road to this amazing journey!
Major props for not backing out. I also had to have a sleep study a couple months ago. (you can go see my pics that match yours on my blog!) and it was pretty uncomfortable to sleep that way, no lie. I'm glad you're well and shouldn't have any trouble with your surgery!
I'm glad you went through with the sleep study. I knew you could do it. The thing about our negative self is its just that. The things we know we need to do and supposed to do are always going to be talked down by that negative persona on the inside. Its up to us whether we listen or not. You didn't listen....YAY for you.
I'm so happy you don't have sleep apnea
That is awesome you have no apnea!!! I am sorry you had a bad experience. But this is just one more thing you can cross off of your list...yay!!
I want you to embrace this surgery. Because even though you are an amazing person, you will love yourself even more at a lesser weight. And take it from "old" me who developed health problems after 50. It really will catch up to you. So believe momma here and do it for your future health. Your future will be so much better. No regrets. Ever.
I never had to do the sleep study and I know it must have been a pain in the butt, but it is over and done with and now you can move on to the SURGERY!!! Yea!!
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