Thank God that is over with...

I have to be honest today.....I almost backed out of my sleep study :( I just didn't want to go! It wasn't like I was scared or afraid of the actual sleep study, I just DID NOT WANT TO GO DO IT! Do ya'll ever get that way about anything! I was just over it and didn't want to go. I really struggled with it. I got home from yesterday from work at about 4:30 and ate about 1/2 a bag of assorted left over Disney candy, some Cheetos, and some gummy bears, because I felt sorry for myself, you know since I was about to leave to be TORTURED and all ;) It was really hard for me to leave. Once I did leave I thought about turning around several times. The place I had to get my sleep study done at is about 1 1/2 hours from my house......so once I made it to the big ol city of Birmingham I knew I was in for the long haul since I had already driven that far! I made it there even though I was acting like a big baby all the way there. My Aunt called me on my way there. She really is encouraging to me! She had the gastric done almost 2 years ago by the same Dr. I am using. She has really inspired me on this journey. She talked me down of the ledge yesterday! The reason I wanted to not go to my sleep study was because I was also considering just not having the surgery done at all. CRAZY I know! I was on this super high coming back from Disney and the last couple blogs I wrote! I kept on looking at pictures and saying....."Ah, you really don't look that bad this big, everyone still loves you and you are so fun to be around! You are still gorgeous! You love yourself and that's all that matters!" CRAZY thoughts I know! After talking to her and my husband I have once again realized for the 100th time this surgery is a HAVE TO surgery at a HAVE TO time! I can't wait any longer. If I was going to do something about my weight I would have done it the last 6 months I have been waiting for surgery! Sure I don't have ANY health problems right now but what if I am still this weight or even BIGGER when I am 40?????? How will my health be then????

SO I put on a pair of my BIG GIRL PANTIES......

And that is exactly what I did. I will not lie. I had a horrible night! I got there at 8:00 pm just like they said. They gave me about 15 mins of alone time and then started hooking me up to like a million things. No joke I had like 7 things attached to my head, a nose piece, 3 things attached to my chin / mouth, 1 attached to my neck, both of my legs had 2 things each attached to them, several on my chest and ribs, a belt around my abdomen, a belt around my chest........it was just TOO much! It took like over 45 mins to get everything hooked up! Once she was done it was time for lights out, cell phone off, tv off, bed time! At like 10:00! I never go to bed till like 11:30!!! I had a really hard time falling asleep! I had to lie only on my BACK :( I am a total stomach / side sleeper!!!!! About 10:45 she asked me if I wanted any Ambien.....I said YES!!! I had never taken anything like that before but I was miserable not being able to sleep! Guess what at like 11:45 I was still WIDE AWAKE :) What is up with that? I though Ambien was suppose to like be MAGIC or something :( The nurse told me I was moving my legs to much and want to know if I wanted a sedative??? I asked her if it would help me sleep and she said yes, so I said SURE!!!! The last time I looked at the clock it was about 12:00 I probably fell asleep shortly after that! They woke me up at 5:00!!!!!!!!! They had to unhook everything!! At about 8:15 the Dr. came in the room and said.......I do not have sleep apnea!!! Yay praise God!!! So he said I was all cleared from him for surgery! PERFECT! Just what I wanted to hear! Bad news is I had to leave the sleep study place in Birmingham and drive back to Jasper and come straight into work!

I look like a WRECK!!!! ;)

But I DID IT!!!!

I am proud of myself!!!!!

Here is a picture of me right before they finished putting more attachments to my face!! Yes there was more!!!!!

Here is what I looked like right before I walked into work :)

I think I might leave a little early today and go take a nap in MY bed!!!!!!

Did you wear your BIG GIRL PANTIES today?????

;)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................

Tonight is my much dreaded sleep study :( I have tried to get out of this from the get go of starting this weight loss surgery process. It is not because I am scared or anything like that. I just hate to be away from my husband and my house! I know that may sound crazy, but I can just not stand not to sleep with Ant! It really bugs me that he is going to at home in our bed alone :( Poor Mary :) Ya'll should all feel sorry for me tonight!!!! That might make me feel a little bit better about this whole situation!

I hope and pray everyone is doing well today! Ya'll all say a little prayer for me tonight! I pray I actually sleep!!!!