WARNING: I am having a lot of doubtful thoughts and I don't know who else to talk to about them with other than God and ya'll! :(
Where to start. I am having some major doubtful thoughts about this whole thing. I need some advice! I need some answers! Can ya'll help me?
It really all started when a nasty blogger harassed me for a week. Someone who doesn't believe in weight loss surgery. I know I shouldn't let negative things like that effect me. But, the reality is no matter how much you try not to think about what they said or commented the damage is already done. The words had already been typed, and I had already read them. I tried to forget them and shove them in the back of my mind, but they kept creeping on out.
On top of all this I googled this yesterday,"Is lap band surgery dangerous?" Stupid, stupid thing to google. Especially when you are like 1 month from lap band surgery. STUPID!!!! Of course it was a HORRIBLE site, with HORRIBLE stories with HORRIBLE endings. I will spare ya'll the details of these stories.
I cried yesterday. I cried because for like the first time in a long time I really didn't know if I could go through with this. I know it sounds really silly, but after reading all these horror stories I didn't know if I wanted to risk everything to place a band around my stomach.
Did any of you ever think, what if? Did any of ya'll ever have doubts?
What if this doesn't work? What if I did all this preparing for nothing?
What if I risked my life for nothing?
All these people had HORRIBLE stories of what had happened to there family members. I don't want anything like that to happen to me.
Did any of ya'll ever have doubts like these?
Am I crazy? I keep thinking maybe I can do this myself. But the honest answer is I know I can't. If I could I would have already done it. I want kids so bad. I am turning 28 next Monday. When I turned 27 I "promised" myself I was going to loose weight so I could get pregnant when I was 28. Never happened. I have tried a lot of diets during this year. Did a "only eat what God makes" diet. Joined a gym and tried their program. Never happened.
What scared me the most about all these HORRIBLE stories and negative talk are these questions...... Can ya'll help me?
All these people had HORRIBLE things happen to their family members after the surgery. I can't even type it. Did any of you ever worry something would go wrong? Have you ever known someone to have severe complications from the surgery?
They all talked about how no one has really had the band in for very long. They said they only knew people like 5 years out and they all had severe complications. They even said they had stopped doing this procedure in Europe because of the long term side affects and HORRIBLE complications it was causing. Have ya'll ever heard of this? Do you know anyone that had has the band for a LONG time? Do non reversible complications occur after several years?
Is this surgery safe? Is the band safe?
I know I am asking a lot of hard questions, but I don't know who else to turn to. I have prayed and prayed about this, and I am just really not sure.
Sorry for this very very depressing post!!!
I promise to return to your scheduled Mary happiness next post!
I would really appreciate ANY help ya'll could offer.