Friday, April 23, 2010

What am I doing wrong?

Hello!

I hope ya'll like my new blog background! I am trying to get something more colorful and bright to reflect my PERSONALITY! :) I like this one!

I am so DOWN about my weight this morning! I am just trying so hard and NOTHING is working.

This morning I am exactly where my weight normally is at this very same time of the month every month. My weight is weird. I fluctuate about 6 pounds throughout the month. I can not stand that! :(

This week so far I have exercised 3 out of 4 days. Like really exercised, for me. One day I walked .8 of a mile and the other 2 days I did at least 20 mins of the p90x (what I could do)! I just DO NOT GET IT! On the food front I am really trying also! I know I am not eating exactly perfect but I am in no way eating how I used to (whatever I wanted to)! I do not understand why the scale never moves anywhere but UP!

The only thing I can think of is just really buckling down and counting exactly what I have eaten calories wise, make sure I get my 100 oz of water in, and keep up the exercise! Why can I not be like a normal person and just be able to adjust one of these 3 things and loose like at least 5 lbs! Why? I am not trying to loose 100 lbs before I get banded, just about 20 lbs before my July vacation!!!!!!!

Sorry this post is starting to sound sad and DESPERATE!!!

I think I also need to invest in a better scale. I just have one of those really cheapo ones that isn't even electronic, the kind that the little hand just moves to your weight! I wish I could blame it on my scale and say it was stuck and everybody weighed that same amount every time they got on it! Not the case! I tried though, until my husband weighed on it! :( It always makes you feel better when your husband that is 6'3 (and you are technically 5'4) weighs a good 15 lbs less than you! :) So, I need to invest in a new high tech scale!

I had a great night last night! My husbands family came over for fish taco night! It was fun. I only ate 1/2 of a fish taco because I was trying to be good so the scale would be good this morning! I did have some chips that were really too salty and some cheese dip. Now that I think about it, I really didn't eat that good yesterday at all! Maybe I should stop all this complaining because I really have NOT been doing the best that I could on the eating front. I got depressed this morning and had a shot of Mountain Dew. It has been FOREVER since I drank a "coke"! When I say shot i just took like a little shot of it, like maybe 4 oz!!!!

Ok, so this has turned into one big rambling post!

I pray everyone has an awesome weekend!

Pray for me! I need some scale movement in the right direction

DOWN!

14 comments:

Carmen said...

love the new background! it's so cute :-) i'm sending happy scale thoughts your way!!

Amy said...

OK, I am probably going to get in trouble for saying this, and I know you want to lose weight before vacation, BUT losing weight without the band is hard, nearly impossible, for lots of us. It just is. I have lost 50+ lbs post-banding without doing real exercise. Not to say I shouldn't be exercising (because I should be), but the band makes losing weight possible!

I say all this because I don't want to see you beating yourself up over not losing weight. Nor busting your butt to lose weight and getting discouraged when it doesn't happen. If I were you (hahahaha, like I am an expert on this), I'd use these next few months to focus on the things you can control - eating slower, taking small bites, trying band-friendly recipes, doing lots of walking, and so on. If the scale moves down, great. If not, don't fret it. It WILL move down once you are banded. It will. And it won't take a Herculean effort to make it happen.

Hang in there! And just know that in a year or so, this will all be a distant memory and you'll be well on your way to a skinny new you!

Leslie said...

Well said Amy!!!

My clinic had a very strict pre-op diet before surgery. No carbs at all. It was hard but I did it and I saw scale movement which was encouraging. Just use this time to understand your eating habits and what triggers you to want to eat badly.

Mary said...

Thanks Amy....you make me feel better! I think it is just hard for me right now! I read all these blog of banders and see all their great sucess! It is so motivating to me, that I get it in my head that I should be loosing tons of weight also and sometimes I forget that I have no little band to help me! It just makes me even more discouraged because I start thinking....why the crap can I not even loose 2 lbs without the band, what's wrong with me? It makes me start doubting the band and what it will do for me!!!! Thanks so much fo rthe kind words! Loosing wieght is a HARD fight and trust me it is really hard! I am NOT giving up! I am on my water like a crazy woman today! 34 oz down so far and it is about 10:30 am! You are so SWEET thank you! I love reading your blog!!! :)

KRISTI said...

Im in the same position... I am waiting to hear if I will be approved for surgery and I find myself more depressed than ever and more often. I think this has to do with knowing there is a possible end in sight? I know I used to get happy buying clothes, but now it is just depressing. I keep thinking, next year at this time everythign will be so different.
I think it also comes with acceptance of the idea that what we have been doing is so not working and a channge is desperatly needed.
Here is my blog by the way...
http://bestwishesnevergooutofstyle.blogspot.com/

LDswims said...

Love the new background! It's so super cute!! Just like you - your personality does shine through!!

I agree with Amy. Weightloss isn't easy and it's also hard to be in this community surrounded by the banded folk who are losing weight, relateively speaking, quickly and with what seems like little effort for a non-banded person. Don't starve yourself. That's the first thing I would say. Be aware of your portions - but half a taco is probably leaving you still hungry. And if you are still hungry and go to your next meal with that sensation, then you will eat more. A fish taco is not a bad thing - eat enough of it, though.

And yes, try to track what's going in and the calorie counts. A shot of Mountain Dew isn't the enemy here. If you were drinking three whole sodas a day, then it's a problem. A sip on occasion isn't going to hurt that much - and probably helps to avoid that binging thing, too.

And you are exercising now. Don't forget that makes your body say, "oh my, what's going on - better store everything until we know what's what" and then weightloss will start after a week, sometimes two. Hang in there. You are doing everything right - sometimes it's just that the scale is the last to get the memo.

And don't beat yourself up about 20 pounds. You can do it.

(If you really want to jumpstart something, try replacing a meal, maybe lunch, with a protein shake.) Personally, I don't think you need to - but if you want to see quick results...that's one way to do it. If you do that, try Isopure zero carb non-flavored powder and put that in chicken broth. Seems like a normal lunch, tastes pretty good, surprisingly, and is very low cal - 150cals in 6oz of chicken broth with one scoop of protein - which is 26g.

Mary said...

Aesome advise LDswims :) Exactley what I needed! Thanks you!

Kristi, I am going to your blog right now to follow!

Thank ya'll so much!!!

:)

Mary said...

Awesome :)

Robin said...

Hang in there girlie. (And... if you email me with your address at robin@walshweb.org I can get your sisterhood clothes out to you.)

Jenny said...

Losing is hard no matter how you do it. Keeli had a great post about these situations. You work your ass off and the scale doesn't move, and then you can eat like no one bidness and drop 5lbs! Its a crapshoot sometimes!

You will break through this cycle, you just have to keep trying. I love the background by the way!!

-Grace- said...

Love the new background!

Just hang in there: everything Amy and LDSwims said is SPOT. ON.

Beth said...

CALM DOWN! This is one of the hardest things for me to learn but when it comes to losing this weight you are in a marathon, not a sprint! Stress will stop you from losing weight. So focus on things that are easy, ifyou enjoy working out do it, but don't force yourself to do something your not enjoying, find some fun videos, something that you will WANT to do to get away from the stresses of life. Also make sure your sleeping enough, not enough sleep will keep you from losing weight as will not drinking enough, these are the easy things that take next to no effort and bam you will see a difference!

Also when you obsess about food and all you can think of is food than all you want to do is eat and eventually you are going to. Its something important in your life so work on making good decisions, but don't let it take over your life. Once food has the control and the center of your psyche you will fall victim, I know because that is how I was for most of my life!

With the band it will get easier, you will learn that you will lose the weight and a few bad days are nothin, until then, just relax, you know what you want and as long as just don't give up you can achieve it micro steps at a time!!!

Drazil said...

Love the background. Hang in there sweetie. It's tough with no band and it's tough with one. Everyone hits plateaus or stops losing even when they do everything right. You're doing great and you have to be proud of yourself for the new healthy steps you're taking that even a few months ago you weren't doing and you're reaching out for help. You're going to get there...I have no doubt. Chin up - keep on keeping on! Smooches!

Kim said...

You are doing awesome!! I know it can be frustrating, but like other people said, you are making the effort and it will pay off. I know for me it took a long time to gain the weight, so it is going to take a while to get it off. Don't beat yourself up over it and don't get depressed. I know easier said than done and I am the same way, but trust me, you will lose weight! Oh, and I LOVE the new background!

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