what i haven't shared with ya'll...

Ok. So it's a known fact that sometimes when my weight loss isn't going as perfect as it should be and I snuck and ate that little roll with my lunch that I should have never ate, and trust me I have felt guilty all day, that I tend to over load my blog with make up, fun pictures of my family, or the cute bubbly side of Mary that I hope everyone enjoys.

With that being said.....I think you can see where this is going. There has been an abundance of bubbly Mary, cute pictures, and make up. And while I really enjoy blogging about those subjects, it's time to talk about weight and this band that I had installed around my stomach :) Oh, I must put a disclaimer out that part of the reason for all the cuteness, pictures, and make up is also a part of my huge commitment to try and blog, which I think I have been succeeding ;)

Now back to the weight......if I keep rambling on I am liable to post a make up tutorial instead :) So far my weight loss has been good I think. I posted a post at the end of last week declaring the victory that I had lost 36 lbs. Really ground breaking news for Mary. Mary who couldn't even manage to loose 10 lbs a year ago while taking diet pills. What I didn't share with ya'll was the fact that the scale told me a secret this past weekend. It told me that I had lost 2 more lbs bringing my total to 38 lbs. 38 lbs. I was literally in shock, I weighed 272 lbs. Well in all reality, I wasn't in shock too long because the next day I was back up to 276 lbs. Then the next day 275 lbs. Heart broken. I really can't figure it out. I know it pretty much has to be water. I didn't eat that much food to cause that big of a weight gain in that short of time. Even with knowing that it has still affected my week. I have eaten a couple pieces of Halloween candy here and there that I might have not eaten if I was still on my I weigh 272 lbs high. But because I was on a gain low it was even more the reason to eat :( I have a Dr.'s appointment on Thursday for a fill. In all honesty I have done great this month. On Thursday it will be exactly 1 month since I had my first fill. I weighed 281 lbs the day I got my fill and a month later, even if on Thursday I am still at 285 lbs, I am down at least 6 lbs. That's great according to my Dr.'s standards. He likes 1 lb a week, no more than 2 or no fill! So, I shouldn't be beating myself up all the time over this! I have a band, it's been life changing, and I know for sure my life is changing. You know I am coming up on my 3rd month band anniversary. It really seems like forever ago that I had this procedure done. Looking back I still can't believe I went through with it. Totally against my character. I am so happy with my decision to do this. And, I am doing this! Even if I have only lost 35 lbs...... 35 lbs is a huge accomplishment in less than 3 months. Sometimes when I think about the band I have mixed feelings. I am not sure if everyone has the same exact feelings, but I thought I would share. Sometimes I am so thankful for the band because for a couple minutes if I think really hard I can grasp my head around just how live saving this band is. How much it has changed me already, and how much I know it is going to change me for the better. Some days I worry, it isn't working. Some days I worry, it is working too much. Some days I think, why did I even get this? Some days, I think how could I have even considered not doing this? Some days it scares me, how is this band going to change my mind, my thought process. Some days I stop and think, I am such a different person than I was 3 months ago, and then it makes me so proud of myself. Sometimes I look in the mirror and get scared, what if it changes my body too much? Sometimes I look in the mirror and get scared, what if you can never tell the difference? Some days, and I must add it is almost everyday, I thank God for this opportunity. That I went for it. That I am working it. That I know it is working. That I know I am going to be ok.

Toodles Poodles ;)

So....I wrote this blog yesterday. This morning my scale said 276 lbs :( Not good! It is time for an intervention! Thank God I am getting a fill tomorrow!! It is time for an intervention ladies! I'll write a blog later on what I am going to change! I know what I am doing wrong. It's time to fix it!